Older But Shorter

In an ideal world or place twins would thrive and grow at exactly the same rate.  Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in, so I am constantly explaining how Ryan is older, but shorter than Moy.  The fact that Moy is a girl and matures at a different rate than Ryan adds to her edge of appearing to be older.

At birth, Ryan was longer than Moy and he outweighed her by half a pound even.  Somewhere just after the first year, Moy surpassed Ryan in growing.  She was always the more voracious eater as well and she still is to this day.  She is the one who has her face to the plate eating while Ryan is chatting it up.  Currently, Ryan is only half of a head shorter than Moy, but he has a huge personality and other kids are drawn to him for that.

The one person who is the most puzzled as to how nature has run its course so far, is Moy.   Ryan has not been so concerned about this difference in height probably because we do not make a big deal about it and we tell him that everyone sprouts differently.  In Moy's world, just about everyone who is older than her is taller than her.  The exception to this rule so far is her brother.  She is not so concerned about height and age in the adult world...some how it is acceptable.  In a kids' world,  it is usually the case that someone who is older would be taller....eg) an 8 year old is typically taller than a 6 year old.  So, Moy comes to me and asks, "When is my older brother going to be taller than me because that is what she is supposed to be."  I just tell her that everybody is different and one day he may be taller than her. 

At first glance, people assume that Emily is older since she is taller and has a bit of a more mature look to her.  Once I tell them how old Ryan and Moy are,  people just light up because they think it is so wonderful and cool to have twins, especially a boy and a girl. Yes, it seems to be the dream combination for families who only desire to have two children.  I sometimes do get tired of pointing out the older but shorter scenario, but I find it a bit amusing at times too.          

Homework

Most parents with 2 kids in school will have as much homework stress as I do, but what makes my case unique is that I have the same homework assignment for each child.  Ryan and Moy are both in the same class and have been classmates since they were 3 years old.  Since the twins are both 5 years old, it means that both require the same amount of parental supervision while they are doing their homework.  Needless, to say it is challenging to provide equal attention simultaneously.

The most difficult homework assignment that I have encountered so far is creative writing.  Yes, they went to a kindergarten that included a reading program and writing is part of that process.  Thankfully, creative writing was only once a week.  I sat in the middle between them, I talked to each of them individually about the story he/she wanted to write based on the opening sentence given.  Then I proceeded to write that story as told by them on paper ever so neatly, so Ryan/Moy can read my handwriting and copy the storey into their journal.  As soon as I got 1 child started I would then turn my attention to the other one and repeat the process.  Of course in an ideal world the twins would sit patiently and wait their turn.  That was not always the case...most of the time. In the beginning, this strategy worked, but as they learned more words they wanted to print the draft themselves.  This lead to a lot of going back and forth for me helping them spell words for their stories. The only part that did not require my help as the drawing that accompanied the storey. It was quite a process from start to finish.

Another homework assignment that is always good to have a partner help with is reading.  It is simply not possible to have each child reading aloud at the same time.  I could let them just read by themselves, but I would not be able to help correct them or help sound out new words.  So, what is really a simple task that should take 10 minutes to complete can easily turn into a minimum 20 minutes to complete because of having twins. Again, only because I want to do things properly that I get myself into this situation.  One day when they are older they will probably not need me to sit next to them as they read.  Reading is always a positive activity and it is also a great way to spend time together, so I don't mind it that much.

I may be a little tired and run down, but at least by having the same homework assignments I only need to read the instructions once.  At this juncture in their education, I do prefer my current homework situation versus them being in different classes.  One day I am sure they will be in separate classes, but until then I am going to "enjoy" it while I can. 

Birthday Parties

With twins, birthday parties can be a bit trickier to plan especially if you have a boy and a girl. I found this to be the case. I had tried to delay the inevitable "I want to invite my friends from school" party as long as I could. The year is upon us where this will be the new reality.

The first question was how do we go about arranging this. Will there be a seperate boy party and a seperate girl party? On the same day or different days? Again, the underlying question still remains, is it seperate or together? Being a mom is an endless gig that just zaps the energy out of you, so I decided that I want to do this party one time. It will be a boys and girls party celebrating both Ryan and Moy's birthday on the same day...one party.

The second question was how the inviting will be done. Will everyone just come and celebrate both Ryan and Moy's birthday regardless of who he/she plays with more or whether it is Ryan's friend or Moy's friend? That would mean everyone attending should bring two gifts, one for each child. At first I wondered to myself, will people have an issue with this? I talked to some friends and through much consultation it really is no different than going to two different birthday parties for children of two different families. In fact, this saves a trip and a weekend afternoon. Since Ryan and Moy are in the same class it will not be strange for the guests to celebrate both their birthdays because they all know the twins. If they were in different classes, I may have had to celebrate over two days because it is a lot more difficult to have 30 to 40 kids in a single place. Also, same situation but with a single party, I would have invitations specifying who's birthday a guest was invited to, so only one gift would need to be brought, unless it was a friend that they shared then two gifts would be appropriate.

The third question involved location and activity. This the simplest part for me, so no advice needed there as long as it would be good for both boys and girls.

The fourth and last question for me involved the cake. I am going to plan for individual themed cupcakes. There can be boy ones and girls ones if the twins get picky about it. The best thing is there will be no cutting and guests can take it home if they like.

After this "I want to invite my friends from school" party is over, it is time to setup the family one because everyone needs to be satisfied.  No, I don't think there is anything that I will get out of all this except to see my kids happy. That really is the only reason that I will put myself through this. Wish me luck!

Easter Is Not Just About the Bunny

Interesting how Easter can bring out interesting questions from children, especially if they go to a Christ based academic program. In my case, more accurately, it is what I get for sending my children to a school with a spiritual undertone. I was forced to address my own mortality and the prospects of the afterlife.

I thought Easter would be about the bunny, colorful eggs, and candy for most kids, but that was not the case here. One day, the twins and I were having a meal together and the first question I am asked is, "Are you going to get old?" Naturally, I respond with "Yes." Next thing I know, I see this horror and fear in my children's faces. Immediately, they wail, "I don't want you to die!" I quickly try to ease their distress by declaring that "I am not old yet...see I have no grey hair and I am not going to die (not anytime soon, I hope)." Acutally, I have just a few that are well hidden with the help of my stylist. I blame the stress of picking the "right school" as the cause of my discoloration. The twins associate the greying of hair with aging...an accurate observation in the majority of cases. They understand the cycle of life where one is born and gets old and dies.

The next question they ask is "When you die, will you go to heaven?" I tell them "Yes (at least I hope to)." "How will I find you?" is the followup question. I tell them that I will wait for them. So, after our mini discussion I have Emily believing that I will be sitting on a bench in heaven waiting. Emily likens this situation to being at a bus stop or a train station. Ryan is not as easily satisfied as he would like God to return us to Earth to live in our home in the form of a resurrection. I can see that he really likes our home too. I was forced to explain that we would have to stay in heaven and live in a different house.

At this point, I felt overwhelmed with these questions and at the same time rather depressed because I am getting older and will die one day. It is an inevitable cycle, but it is a lot to address over a meal or snack and not something I like to think about often. I knew these questions did not happen randomly. I asked the twins if they talked about Jesus at school and they told me yes. They told me that Jesus died, went to heaven and came back down to Earth. They summarized it quite well and so, now I have my kids believing that when we get to heaven we will wait for each other, just like at a train station or a bus stop.

Who are Moy and Ryan?

Moy Moy means little sister in Chinese, Cantonese specifically. Moy's real name is Emily, but we call her Emzie, Moyzie, and Moy for short. We call Ryan, Ry Ry or Ry for short. Ryan used to call Emily, Moy. However, as they hit Kindergarten he mainly calls her Emily. Emily prefers it that way because she does not want her friends referring to her as Moy Moy. Can't blame her for that right?

Ryan and Emily are 5 years old and they attend full day kindergarten. Yay, for me because that means I have just under 6 hours to get stuff done. They do fun hardcore learning the first half of the day and after lunch it is more about doing art and play time, more relaxed activities. Getting them to school used to be a read production when they were younger, but now it is a bit easier. Goodbyes were a real big deal for them when they were in preschool at ages 3 and 4. They had this routine where they would gently give me a pinch on the back of my hand, give it a kiss and push me out the door. The preschool teachers thought it was hilarious. Now, they get to school and take off and there are hardly any hand pinches or even a hug. Just a quick goodbye is all I get now. Things sure change fast as they get older. Definitely, cherish the little things they do because soon they won't be doing them any longer.

They generally play well together....sometimes it is about Iron Man rescuing Barbie...how else are they going to play action figures and dolls together? Playing kitchen was always a great gender neutral activity that they did a lot of when they were younger. They really love to play Calico Critters together and it has become a part of their weekend morning routine. Ryan has identified a bunny that stands on his tippy toes and has claimed that to be his bunny. The story behind this is...Ryan likes to stand on his tippy toes or walk like that sometimes because it helps him see. He did this when he was younger and continues to at times, so we coined the name Tippy Toes and call him that sometimes when we catch him tippy toeing. Other than that, board games are something they enjoy now, but they are still learning that not everyone can win all the time.

The last thing I want to note is that although Moy is younger by order of birth, she is actually taller than Ryan. She finds this concept a bit strange because usually a person that is bigger and taller than you is usually older than you in most cases. In this case, she is bigger and taller, yet younger. She says she likes to call Ryan her little brother. We have had to explain this to her a few times over.

I hope this helps everyone get a clearer picture of who Moy and Ryan are. Yes, as a Mom I feel tired and busy all the time. I realize that this busy feeling is only the "tip of the iceberg" because wait until the after school and weekend activities begin, right?

The Early Years

In the beginning it was just me and my husband, Darryl. Then it became me and Darryl and the twins. When people ask us how hard it was in the early years we tell them it was a blur. If it weren't for photos and videos, we would not remember much. It was all about survival.

We lived at my parents' home for the first month and it was so helpful. We did not have to worry about any cooking, cleaning or laundry even. My parents were just great. I remember going on diaper runs when there was a sale and picking up cases of instant formula at the Babies R Us. All we did was take care of the twins and ate and slept. It was an extremely exhausting time. I recall taking the morning shift when I would wake up at 4AM and start the feeding and changing of the diapers at 2 hour intervals, so Darryl could go to sleep. It REALLY worked out to be 1 hour of rest in between the cycles because when you are doing it alone it takes 1/2 hour to change and feed each baby. Yeah, sometimes they BOTH wanted to be fed at the SAME time and no one wanted a pacifier to buy you time. That called for some creative thinking and arranging. I used to feel nervous about taking care of them on my own for just a few hours even.

When you have twins, organization is key. We made a chart to help us keep track of each baby's "ins" and "outs". We charted the time they were fed and how much they drank. Prior to each feeding, we would change their diaper and we would record each time they stooled. Nobody wants a "backed up baby". Using those tiny sample size 2 ounce bottles was convenient, although probably deemed unsafe now due to BPA and what nots. To avoid a back load of dirty baby bottles, we simply used 8 at most. This way you don't die from bottle washing. We just washed often and thank goodness for those hot water dispensers that boil too. Nothing like hot water on demand to give that clean bottle one last soak. Yes, we not only cleaned every bottle with soap, but soaked each one in 195 F hot water.

As for diapers...Pampers Swaddlers worked well for us, but the garbage man did not come often enough at our house. EACH day we would have 24 diapers to dispose of. My parents only had 1 garbage can outside, so what did we do? When we went to get gas or do some shopping, we had to unload trash here are there around the city. We had to do what we had to do for the short-term. We charted everything until they were over 3 years old. As they got older and ate solid foods we charted the type of stool they had, so we could increase their fruit and vegetable intake if needed. When potty training began we put in the potty training chart for stickers. That is another story and unfortunately we are still working on part of that story for one of them.

Anyway, organization and charting was the key to our success in the early years of this journey of raising twins. At least we had no trouble differentiating them.

Diaper explosion

Yesterday, I was 15 minutes away from going out the door and my twins got into some trouble. Needless to say, my excursion got canceled and it was time to change and go into clean up mode. Here is the background....I have a 5 year old boy who is content to not be very potty trained at night. Good thing Pampers makes Cruisers big enough for him still. What happened???? He took the diaper off, swung it around and slammed it down on the carpet (he probably has done this before without incident) and the sodium polyacrylate in the diaper blew out. This was a new term for me. This is the material that soaks up ALL the moisture in the diaper and keeps the bottom dry. Basically, I had urine soaked gelatinous pellets strewn on the carpet and small nearly invisible ones on the hardwood and bathroom tile (anywhere little feet may have traveled). The funny thing with these twins is, they try to help each other out. My little girl was trying to help her brother clean this mess and hopefully, mom and dad will never find out.

I did a Google search right away on my iphone to see what information is out there concerning this clean up. My first concern was whether it was toxic. Well, I found conflicting information....Pampers says it is not, but a teacher's protocol using this in a science project said yes.

Here is the protocol according to "Seeing Double"

1) Use disposable plastic spoons carefully scoop up all pellets that are in clumps on floor (carpet in this case)
2)Using flashlight, carefully scan the area for remaining pellets and use toilet paper to grasp them off the carpet or anywhere else
3) Using heat (heat dish in our case and base board heater) to make the room warm (not humid) so pellets that you may have missed dry (no longer in gelatinous state)
4) Sprinkle baking soda on the area if you need to deodorize
5) Wait awhile (1-2 hours or so), then use vacuum cleaner to the area

This method worked in our case. The carpet smells okay too. No gloves were used in this clean up and no skin irritation has occurred,

The twins sat in time out for awhile and practiced their reading. There were some nice quiet moments too.

Lessons of the day were...diapers are not toys, and messes need to be reported ASAP.